For those of you who inhabit the normal world (aka are sensible enough to not be doctors), let me explain the significance of the first Wednesday in December. This marks the great migration: the day when doctors all change jobs. It’s not quite as dramatic as the first Wednesday in August (affectionately known as Black Wednesday), but it nevertheless involves a fairly great deal of shifting about and upheaval.

Moving to a new job is pretty much what it says on the tin. New colleagues, new department, sometimes even new hospital. It also inevitably involves a new rota, and getting to grips with the quirks of your new rota coordinator, just when you’d finally come to accept how infuriating your current one is.

And this dear reader, is where we take a slight political detour. I am staunchly against the Conservative party. I have never and will never support them. So it pains me greatly that the incumbent leader of the nation is none other than Boris Johnson, very firmly of the tory party.

BoJo is infamous for his incredible indecision, and constant parliamentary U-turns with all major decisions. This has included, but is not limited to, Brexit, lockdown, and pretty much any kind of social funding. And yet, despite his abysmal record for being able to make literally any kind of weighty decision, he has actually managed to confirm what the national lockdown guidance will be over Christmas, a full month in advance.

So why do I mention this? Well it turns out that I’ve found someone who rivals BoJo’s inability to make concrete plans. And this person is the rota coordinator for my next job. I am as astounded as anyone that we have somehow managed to get national guidelines for Christmas from the master of procrastination himself BEFORE the coordinator has published the December rota.

Since my job starts in 5 days with absolutely no sign yet of the rota arriving anytime soon, I’ve resorted to a semi-apocalyptic mindset, whereby I simply do not make any plans whatsoever from the 2nd December, and just pray I don’t start on nights. Scheduling just sort of… ends.. on the 1st, and after that lies a black hole, which I’m hoping someone might be kind enough to shed some light on. Ideally before the day I start.